Art Attack Central

Fixing stuff, myself included…


These too funny cries for help arrived in my email this morning, and I can’t resist passing them on. The following are actual letters that Abigail Van Buren (Dear Abby) admitted she was at a total loss to answer:

Dear Abby,

A couple of women moved in across the hall from me. One is a middle-aged gym teacher, and the other is a social worker in her mid twenties. These two women go everywhere together, and I’ve never seen a man go into their apartment or come out. Do you think they could be Lebanese?

Dear Abby,

What can I do about all the sex, nudity, language and violence on my VCR?

Dear Abby,

I have a man I never could trust. He cheats so much I’m not even sure this baby I’m carrying is even his.

Dear Abby,

I am a twenty-three-year-old liberated woman who has been on the pill for two years. It’s getting expensive, and I think my boyfriend should share half the cost, but I don’t know him well enough to discuss money with him.

Dear Abby,

I suspected that my husband had been fooling around, and when I confronted him with the evidence he denied everything and said it would never happen again. Should I believe him?

Dear Abby,

Our son writes that he is taking Judo. Why would a boy who was raised in a good Christian home turn against his own?

Dear Abby,

I joined the Navy to see the world. I’ve seen it. Now, how do I get out?

Dear Abby,

My forty-year-old son has been paying a psychiatrist $50 an hour every week for two- and-a-half years. He must be crazy.

Dear Abby,

Do you think it would be all right if I gave my doctor a little gift? I tried for years to get pregnant and couldn’t, and he did it.

Dear Abby,

My mother is mean and short-tempered. Do you think she is going through her mental pause?

Dear Abby,

You told some woman whose husband had lost all interest in sex to send him to a doctor. Well, my husband lost all interest in sex years ago and he IS a doctor. What now?


“Designated driver, on the information highway.”

Blog Sisters

I’ve added Blog Sisters to the permanent links on the side bar. It’s a pretty amazing place, where women “talk” with women of all ages about issues ranging from individual concerns to global problems and possible solutions. Sometimes they’re hilarious, and sometimes they’re dead serious. They are always “in your face”, and they don’t hesitate to shout out about what’s going on, and what to do about what’s going on. Now that my thesis is mostly behind me, I plan on being a more frequent contributor to the ongoing dialogue/discussions. Check them out; if you’re a “sister” maybe you’d like to blog there.

I’m also adding a group called the Baltimore Blogger to the side. These are folks in my city who blog; I haven’t yet met them in person, but this too figures in my plans.

What happened with the red pepper painting?

I got side tracked with various organizational [crapola] yesterday, but it’s on schedule for today. I’ll post a link to it when I finish it. Here’s a link to one of the paintings I did last summer.


“Designated driver, on the information highway.”

Hooray Whorah

Yes it’s almost over; my advisor sent an email saying the thesis is ready for the two other readers! THANK GOD. When it’s actually getting published, I’ll put it up on Mentalrollerderby.

What the hell is mentalrollerderby?

My site on lucid dreaming, which I put up in 98, so I could get rich selling books through Amazon. NOT. Oh well, I suppose I’ll never be rich, although I would highly recommend it to those of you who can afford it.

Afford it?

That’s an old Mr. Potatoehead saying. He told me, “if life is expendable then you can’t afford to miss out.”

Miss out on what?

Anything you put your mind to. As in mind your own business. I used to have my own business, but it went under due to computers of all things! Between 1990 and 95′ I ran a small screen printing shop, which catered to the exhibit industry. When it became obvious that I couldn’t continue to make a living running the shop, I went back to school. Now you’d think at my age that I’d know what I wanted to be when I grow up. NOT And you would also think, I’d have enough sense to know I can’t make a living being an artist. NOT I’m going to start my painting of the red pepper today.

“The most beautiful thing we can experience is the mysterious.”

–Albert Einstein


“Designated driver, on the information highway.”

Tuesday Too # 12

Tuesday Too1.) The “ideal” body image has changed over time. During the last 50 years, not only has the image changed; the image is in your face in a way it’s never was before (i.e. television). I remember the skinny guy on the back of the comic books, watching forlornly as the muscle boy got the girl, who BTW was not skinny as she would be today (an advertisement for pumping iron). Is it important to you, or your partner that you resemble the current ideal image? Why or why not?

2.) The Boston Avon 3 Day Walk for Breast Cancer (60 miles) starts on May 17th. My sister and her daughter are going on this trek across generations and gender; it can strike at any age, and while it is uncommon, men also can get breast cancer. Why is it important to give up your time unselfishly for others? Is there an issue or circumstance in your life/family that you would be willing to give up 3 days for? Is there an organization or community action that you are part of, or support that we should know about?

3.) Are you the black sheep, or prodigal son/daughter of your family? How come?, and If not tell us who is and why?

“To laugh often and much; to win the respect of intelligent people and the affection of children; to earn the appreciation of honest critics and endure the betrayal of false friends; to appreciate beauty, to find the best in others; to leave the world a little better; whether by a healthy child, a garden patch or a redeemed social condition; to know even one life has breathed easier because you have lived. This is the meaning of success.”

–Ralph Waldo Emerson


“Designated driver, on the information highway.”

Turn Beauty Inside Out

What does that mean?

turn beauty inside out!It’s about how women/girls are portrayed in the media; it’s about what beauty really is or should/could be. It’s the Blog Sisters burning issue of the month. It’s May 15th; check it out.

Why should I care?

Because you’re a woman, or because you’ re a father, or a husband, or a brother, or a friend of a woman/girl. Because you care about children and the silent/covert messages they receive via the media. The concept of beauty and what it means might be a good topic for the Tuesday Too questions. Tune in tomorrow.

“The last of the human freedoms is to choose one’s attitudes.”

–Victor Frankl


“Designated driver, on the information highway.”

Catching Up

Just a wee bit behind; I think I’ll drop down and answer my own questions a day late! It’s most amazing the questions appeared at all.


Somehow Monday was one of those chaotic and unruly days, who had no notion that she would be followed by Tuesday. The personification of Monday is an interesting idea to toss about.

Upon entering the bedroom, Gloria found her royal blue Monday undies had undergone a strange transformation. Her once petite and oh so silky feminine underwear, her absolute favorite with the tiny red embroidered lettering had grown to such proportions they would now be suitable only for an elephant. As a matter of fact Monday was covering the entire queensize bed, and it appeared that she was still growing. Horrified, Gloria flattened herself up against the wall, as the now quite large Monday oozed off the bed and stood up, gathering her royal blue folds into fabulous pleats that dropped from the splash of red embroidery emblazoned on her forehead. “But it’s Tuesday” cried the now quite frightened Gloria as she edged her way towards the door. “I could care less what day it is”, shouted Monday, “and I don’t think it’s any of your business anyway!” Gloria was beside herself, well almost, actually she was beside Monday which turns out to be worse than being beside yourself, or beside Tuesday for that matter. Gloria was rattled; her thoughts bounced like a broken sting of pearls on a newly polished hardwood floor. “Oh my God, that’s the string of pearls my mother gave me on the day I married Ken, or was it Brad, or Dick.” Monday threw back her head and roared with laughter, but the blue pleats shook with anger, and then she said, “there is absolutely no order, and yet, everything is as it should be.”

What about the questions?

Some other day perhaps.

“Don’t take life seriously because you can’t come out of it alive.”

–Warren Miller


“Designated driver, on the information highway.”

Tuesday Too # 11

1.) Over the last few months I’ve run across a few blogs (disappearing blogs) that state “I’ve stopped blogging because…” Why might you consider stopping your online journal? If nothing could stop you, and you’re totally committed to blogging Why?

2.) You arrive at the gates of heaven, and the gatekeeper says, “there’s been a mistake…” What mistake? or Who is mistaken about what?

3.) There is a theory in Psychology about silencing the self. Current research looks at whether men and women differ in how much they silence themselves and at what time/stage in a relationship they do so. On Chad’s site I once read a post. about how men’s blogs differ from women’s blogs. Do you think this is true and if so how do they differ?

Post your URL in the comment.


“Designated driver, on the information highway.”

Real Progress

Yeaaaaa! Only a bit of rewriting/rewording to do on the discussion section, submit the whole damn thing, hold my breath and then the thesis will finally be over. The weird thing is that with all my bitching and moaning through the process (section by section), I think I could do it again without too much trouble. NO, I’m not going to continue my education.

What are you going to do?

Start a new painting. I haven’t done any painting since August and I’m so looking forward to it. I’ve been holding onto a gift certificate to an art supply store since Christmas. Tomorrow I’ll go and cash it in on some new paint and brushes. The painting that’s been floating around in my head for about two months is a blow up of the inside of a red pepper.

A red pepper?

My mother came for dinner in early March and she brought me a large red pepper. The next afternoon I wanted to put some pepper in the soup I was making. Instead of cutting it in half and scooping out the insides, I just cut a fair sized piece out of it and left it with that opening. The colors, patterns, texture, seeds were truly amazing.

“All that I desire to point out is the general principle that Life imitates Art far more than Art imitates Life.”

–Oscar Wilde,


“Designated driver, on the information highway.”

Progress, or Lack There of

Stickers by Helena HandbasketI’ve been a total slacker this week. Going into cyberspace withdrawal is the only remedy for overcoming the latest thesis procrastination crisis. If I can remain focused and stay on track, I should be able to write the last section today. Before consigning myself to the outer realms, I want to tell you that Eden, also known as Helena Handbasket has come up with some way cool, and very funny stickers.

“It is not necessary to change. Survival is not mandatory.”

–W. Edwards Deming


“Designated driver, on the information highway.”

Maryland Tornado

Apparently the weather forecasters in the Washington DC and Baltimore area did a poor job of letting people know the storm was on their doorstep. Here’s Morie’s eyewitness account of the tornado as it passed by her house, just up the road from La Plata. This picture was taken from the Calvert Cliffs Nuclear Plant, just as the tornado became a waterspout. The National Weather Service issued a tornado warning only minutes before it hit. Prior to that it was a “only” a severe thunder storm warning. In Baltimore, which is about 50 miles from La Plata the only information about it was a small blue band at the bottom of the TV screen with a red and yellow tornado warning scrolling across.

How come you didn’t post this sooner?

Sometimes I get so caught up in my own small world I forget the large picture. Being aware of the large picture, means realizing we really do have a limited amount of time on this planet. For a reminder of “things I wish I done” see Elaine’s post on BlogSisters.

“You must be the change you wish to see in the world.”

–Mahatma Gandhi


“Designated driver, on the information highway.”