Art Attack Central
Fixing stuff, myself included…
Alien Nature
Survival in a world of extroverts is a complex task, which can sometimes leave the introvert in a state of suspended animation. Rather like a cryogenics wake-up call, you find yourself in totally unfamiliar territory. On the other hand, you might awake to a world turned in on itself. Everyone hurrying here and there with eyes averted. All men created equally alone on a train full of riders staring straight ahead, not noticing the twists and turns of track are an endless circle. Those of us who are introverts from the past will soon understand the value of the extroverts we sometimes took for granted and perhaps even disdained in our former lives. Now surrounded by folks like ourselves with a natural inclination to isolate from others, the value of the nature of the extrovert is quite clear.
It’s easy to imagine a love relationship between an introvert and an extrovert, or between an extrovert and another extrovert (although the competition can be deadly), but can you imagine what would pass for a love relationship between two introverts. Both of the poor dears expecting the other to be mind reader, and neither one willing to reveal anything without being prompted. What we need here is emotional viagra (prior post).
Viagra again, are you horny or what?
You know they have 12 step programs for everything these days.
- 12 steps to larger breasts
- 12 steps to orgasm
- 12 steps to better understanding
- 12 steps to becoming…
- 12 steps to riches
- 12 steps for bitches
- 12 steps to blogging
- 12 steps to MPD
- 12 steps to imortality
- 12 steps to tumble down
- 12 steps go underground
- 12 steps to you name it
“All life is an experiment.”
–Ralph Waldo Emerson
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Nanotech
If you find that even the smallest things can tick you off, it’s time to purchase a new clock. The weather prediction is for 60 degrees in Baltimore, and I’m feeling about 60 degrees off center today. Just guessing, but I think that means I’d better straighten up my act.
What ARE you talking about?
Acting out is so over, so I guess I’ll be acting in a fashion more suitable to my circumstances. Circumstances being such as they are, preclude any crossing of borders. In other words things are all f—ed up.
You’re evading the issue. What things?
Kind of like, “he can shout, don’t hear you” wav from the Firesign Theater.
Later: Sometimes the smallest things can make a big difference, and I’m not talking about subtraction. I was beginning to think that I would never again hear from my lover (i.e.” things are all f—ed up”) after sending this URL (see prior post), and that I would be dragged away ranting and raving by the blog URL police. Then miraculously a letter appeared in my email account, and with a quivering finger I clicked on the mail. I discovered I’m not in the doghouse as far as I know, or at least not yet.
“Only the spoon knows what is stirring in the pot.”
–Sicilian Proverb
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Something to Cry About
Brilliant stars,
Van Gogh as whirling dervish,
trying to avoid black holes.
Careening through the barriers,
knowing no limits.
Only then did I see you, and you saw me.
Now I need a GPS to locate myself.
Off center,
off course,
please identify yourself.
We are tracking your position
and regret to inform you;
without the proper parameters in place,
we will no longer be able to support
your misappropriation of fun.
Please be advised: you are entirely on your own.
This is protected airspace!
But, I didn’t even inhale.
Particles of our air were found in your…
Inspection of your bags revealed:
Twelve rumors roasting
Eleven debts outstanding
Ten tongues a wagging
Nine ladies crying
Eight affairs illicit
Seven sexual hangups
Six goofy sayings
Five frazzled nerves
Four buried memories
Three explosive issues
Two bones of contention
And one sordid past.
“Nothing can cure the soul but the senses, just as nothing can cure the senses but the soul.”
–Oscar Wild
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Crossover Cars
Advertising gone mad: said in a promotional ad on TV last night – “If you can’t define it, people are talking about it.” What are they talking about? Crossover cars are indefinealbe. Is it an SUV, a truck or a car? One of the new models due for production on a limited basis this year has 5 different detachable body styles. The image that comes to mind is of a fickle and aging 007 sliding the hangers back and forth on a rack, while deciding which body suit to wear and don’t forget the viagra.
Aren’t cars an American male sex symbol?
You know how people resemble their dogs; they also resemble their cars. The crossover car business is allowing you to have 5 dogs; thus no one will ever be able to discern exactly which dog you most closely resemble. Cross-dressing for cars = the ultimate American male sex fantasy. Why bother to reinvent the wheel, when you can impersonate a car.
Impersonate a car?
Really the car is a personification of the man, or the “projection” of the car as me, or as in hard to pin down.
Why are you talking about cars? What’s really going on?
I guess I feel the need to reinvent myself this morning, and I don’t really know how to. So I’m projecting an image of shimmering and shiny, like the light reflected off a new chrome bumper. I don’t think they make chrome bumpers anymore; they’re out of date.
“It was when I found out I could make mistakes that I knew I was on to something.”
–Ornette Coleman
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Get Serious
My grandmother would say, “it’s time to get a move on.” Time to stop fooling around and get back to work on my thesis…yuck is what comes to my mind. I just don’t want to, but I’ve got to. I’d much rather fool around with flash and programing and anything else but! Also I gave this URL to my lover after all my ambivalence over whether or not to do it.
What’s that got to do with anything?
It might mean I won’t say as much as I used to here, or maybe not. I’ve got lots of other hats, besides romantic fool. So maybe I’ll just put that one in the back of the closet for a while. It’s possible that I’ve been wearing it backwards anyway, and I’m way too old to be wearing it backwards.
“If you want to make an apple pie from scratch, you must first create the universe.”
–Carl Sagan
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Hello Lovers
For all those young at heart or little kids out there, the Love Testing Machine now has a permanent home on the right side of this page. Finally debugged the flash scrip so the answer is random (just like real life!).
What can I do; I don’t like my test results?
This site is NOT responsible for your test results or any decisions you make based on the results of your tests. Furthermore, we do not claim to know much of anything about anything, and therefore cannot be held responsible for anything.
“WARNING: Keyboard Not Attached. Press F10 to Continue.”
–Anon.
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