Art Attack Central

Fixing stuff, myself included…


Sacred Cows

Weeeee it’s feeling/looking like spring; there’s a tulip tree bursting open across the street. It’s Saturday, and that means the farmer’s market is open this morning = fresh sourdough bread! To hell with the diet; I like lots of butter and salt on my bread.

Salt?

I'm not coming round the mountain!Yes I confess I’m a [saltaholic]. God help me when the blood pressure goes. Really I wouldn’t know if it goes or not, because I haven’t been covered by insurance in ten years! Thus my trips to the doctors office are very, very limited. Like now I’m looking around for some wood to knock on, and telling myself that it’s time to quit smoking, quit drinking, quit complaining, quit any other vices. It’s like spring cleaning for the mind/body. Start riding the bike, but give up salt…not yet, throw it over my shoulder maybe, and don’t tell me “it tastes just like butter”. It does not. On the other hand, if you give up butter you’ll be rewarded by getting the beautiful man or woman, or maybe you become the beautiful man or woman. How becoming is that? or she’ll becoming round the mountain when she comes. hmmmm

I think you’ve gone around the bend again.

As in bender? Bend her what? Okay…I’ll quit now.

Which one?

Complaining, I will hence forth refrain from complaining. Actually at the moment things are going pretty well so I’ve got nothing to complain about. Those are the kind of things people should give up for lent – nothing things. After all sacrifices are a pagan thing, so giving up nothing would be the christian thing to do.

Your not making fun of religion are you?

Not really, but then if that’s your sacred cow where’s the idol harm in that. By the way, remember Lot’s wife turned to a pillar of salt. What a way to go. That’s what people mean when they say, “you go girl”.

“Interestingly, according to modern astronomers, space is finite. This is a very comforting thought – particularly for people who cannot remember where they left things.”

–Woody Allen

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“Designated driver, on the information highway.”