Art Attack Central

Fixing stuff, myself included…


The Late Tuesday Too # 10

Tuesday Too1.) Tell us about your most frustrating experience in dealing with the government, or some kind of authority and red tape.

Yesterday, was spent trying to help my friend Abbott, who is eighty one, open a bank account. The bank he has dealt with for years closed his account because he was overdrawn by $7.00! They know who he is, but nonetheless insisted he must have a current picture id to open a new account. No you can’t have your old account back. No you may not use an expired passport, and no your social security card is not enough either, even with your expired license from another state. Off we go to get a picture id from the DMV. You must have your birth certificate if you don’t possess a current picture id. Well, I explain his house burned down, and he no longer has a birth certificate. You must get a copy of the birth certificate from the records of whatever city he was born in. Hmmmm… turns out he was born at home. All this because of $7.00, and the idiot people at the bank who insist he must prove who he is, when they know full well who he is.

2.) Tell us your crazy kitty or, crazy dog, or crazy whatever story.

This is more a story of crazy circumstances. Once upon a time I lived in Adams Morgan D.C. I rented a large one bedroom basement apartment in a no pet building for myself, my lover and one cat (Cosmic Cat also known as Fatboy). I did not know my lover had such a penchant for animals. Duh… she worked for a veterinarian. First came the white standard poodle Leslie, the next new member of the household was a small black cat whose name escapes me, but her pregnancy did not. Then there was Newla the black standard poodle who was quickly followed by Jane the stray kitten we found on the street in Georgetown. Both Leslie and the nameless cat gave birth; Leslie had a litter of 4 and the cat had, thank god only 3 kittens. I know you won’t believe this, but the next was Fred a german wire haired pointer and then Zelda the greyhound who had to be saved from track. Oh, I almost forgot Mark, a feral cat that was never quite tame, and thought our situation completely hopeless. All these new additions arrived within a three year time span. Yes we did have an outside entrance, well almost anyway. We had to cross the hall and go through the furnace room. Always hoping not to run into Peyton the alcoholic janitor/maintenance man who lived in the other basement apartment. Of course they knew we had a circus living with us, but for some reason (actually the owner of the building had a crush on me) we were allowed to stay. Eventually we moved to a house with a yard! on Chincoteague Island. That was one of my I must be near the ocean years.

3.) You’ve decided to buy a vanity license plate for your car. What does it say? If it’s not obvious, what does it mean to you?

CATGIRL

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“We do not have to visit a madhouse to find disordered minds; our planet is the mental institution of the universe.”

–Johann von Goethe

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