Art Attack Central

Fixing stuff, myself included…

Kitty Cat Craziness

Last night Elliott spent the entire evening glued to my lap. Purring, grooming and sleeping were the main events. Whereas the night before he was trying out for the staring role in Kitty Cat From Hell

.

Kitty Cat From Hell?

While I tried in vain to carry on a conversation with Abbott, Elliott proceeded to climb the kitchen shelves and sweep breakables off onto the floor with his paw. Today is a new day, and as I write this I hear him efficiently stripping the wallpaper in the second floor hall with his lovely little claws. I sincerely hope this does not foreshadow further destruction and mayhem.

Court Proceeding Excerpt

“In my closing argument for the defense ladies and gentlemen, I must remind you that Elliott was an orphan, his origins are unknown, and in fact if not fiction I herewith stand on my own convictions (no pun intended).”

“The defendant ladies and gentlemen is quite beautiful, but you should not be swayed by his outer continence. What counts here, need I remind you, are his unruly ways. You’ve heard the testimony; the defendant is well aware of his beauty, and has been warned repeatedly that one day he’ll no longer be able to get along on his good looks.”

“Objection, your honor, the defendant is not on trial for his good looks; he’s been accused of destroying the shot glass with the little pig on it, with maliciousness and forethought. The defense maintains that while he destroyed the shot glass it was not with malicious intent, but rather playful intent.”

Gavel banging…

“Order, order, order in the court room. Counsels please approach the bench. Now, what’s at steak here… Mr Katz please control your client, or he will be removed from the court room!”

“Elliott sit down, it’s not that kind of steak. I’m sorry your honor, my client was confused by your choice of words”.

“Now, as I was saying what’s at issue is not whether the kitty cat is beautiful, or if he broke the shot glass with the little pig on it, but rather was his action premeditated and malicious? Therefore, I sustain your objection Mr Katz. The jury will disregard the prosecutors last remarks”

“But your honor.”

“Don’t but your honor me, or you’ll find your butt in jail Miss Piggy.”

“Ah, yes sorry your honor.” Miss Piggy gazed demurely at the floor.

“Designated driver, on the information highway.”